Anonymous asked: I was reading your answer to the girl talking about how her boyfriend and her had had sex, and now she wants to stop. I really liked how you gave advice on not going far sexually wise, like nothing below the neck, and I agree with that for the most part but whenever I tell people this they think it's weird. I'm 20 and have yet to have a boyfriend and I'm worried that a guy will judge me or think it's "stupid" for not going far. How can I tell someone and still be respected, etc.?
Thank you! The irony of what you said at the very end is, how you can you tell someone and be respected..when in turn you should think the opposite. You can tell anyone- voice your opinion, and they should respect you. Part of being a Christian and living your life for God is being able to stand out and speak of your faith. Or your morals and values. Being mocked is going to happen, but we just have to not let it get to us. Don’t worry about what the world thinks. Who cares what the world thinks. We aren’t from this world, we’re citizens of Heaven. Therefore, voice your opinion, your morals and values. When the right guy comes along and this question comes up…he will respect you. That’s when you know he’s the right guy. Change your mindset. The right guy will be your prince charming, and will want to wait for marriage with you.
Stay strong there are a lot of us in the same boat!
We have to stick together!
God bless <3
Anonymous asked: My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now. Our focus hasn't necessarily been on God. We've been tempted, and we've had sex. I regret it and I've put an end to it. But the temptation still comes creeping back up. I don't want to have to break up with him. What should I do? I don't really know how to keep both of our focuses on God.
I’m so glad you’re trying to salvage your relationship, and make it God-centered! That’s awesome.
First off, I know how had it is to resist temptation when you’re in a serious relationship. If you feel as though God wants you to say together, then you should. But if you feel as though God doesn’t want you to be together, because He wants you to focus your attention more on Him or maybe He has another path for you, then you know what to do. Only you know the answer to that though, but pray about it and He will give you the answer. If you do decided you want to reroute your relationship, here are a few tips to help stay pure and God-centered:
Don’t put yourselves in a situation where you’re alone with no supervision. I know this sounds childish, but it’s really not. If you want to watch movie together or just hang out, that’s when temptation is the highest, therefore have someone with you. Have parents in the other room- somewhere close, or make sure your roommate is in the room with you. Just be smart about what you two choose to do together.
Pray together. Before you hang out, no matter what you’re planning on doing, make it known that you need God’s help. Pray together out loud, asking God to help give you self-control and to help you both resist temptation. Ask Him to keep you abstinent- which is more than not having sex. And to just keep your relationship based around Him. Praying together won’t only help keep you guys accountable to God, but it will keep you accountable to each other.
Make your boundaries known. What I believe to be acceptable, some people might agree or disagree with me, is nothing below the neck. Kissing is acceptable, but as long as it’s to the neck. No touching in a bad way below the neck. And the hardest thing to keep pure in the midst of all of that is your mind. Stray away from any sexual thoughts.
Have an accountability partner. It can be a friend or a mentor. Both of you need one. Someone close to you, who knows your situation and who you can tell everything to. Let them know what you’ve done in the past, and what your goals are in the future- relationship wise. Then when you slip up or if you’re staying strong, let them know and they’ll keep you accountable. Because it’s not only a promise to yourself and each other but to God.
And I believe this to be the most important part. Make your faith with God strong enough that these thoughts hardly ever cross your mind. Make time for Him everyday. Spend time in His word, prayer, silence before Him. The more you learn about Him, the stronger your relationship with Him will be. The stronger your relationship with God, the more in-tune with Him you’ll be… Which will make it easier to resist temptation.
This problem is common in our world today. And we have to stick together to reverse this problem. So don’t feel ashamed, but instead feel motivated. God can help you, you just have to be willing!
Hope this helped,
Anonymous asked: how far is too far? sexually? please a direct answer ?
Okay, nothing below the neck. Kissing, to the neck, and nothing further, nor touching further. The hardest thing though is keeping your thoughts pure, so if either one of you is having impure thoughts during kissing, then you need to take a step back. So the two key things in staying pure sexually are physically- nothing below the neck and mentally- no impure thoughts
Anonymous asked: I messaged you a few months ago ask for advice because I was addicted to pornography and I needed help. I ended up telling one of my youth leaders and it really helped. Monday will be 2 weeks since I've looked at it & I'm proud of myself. Thank you so much for your help and prayers. <3333333333
Ahh I am SO proud of you!! That is amazing, dear! Keep up the good work, and give all the glory to God :) Make sure you keep in contact with your accountability person- if it’s your youth leader, and just keep doing what you’re doing! You’re inspiring us all and giving us hope. I’ll keep praying:) God bless!
Anonymous asked: Hey there Cierra, I just want to know your opinion about this. I struggled with masturbation before but I was able to overcome that by God's grace. Although, every now and then I get sensual dreams and It really bothers me that my subconscious feeds me stuffs like that when I'm asleep. When I woke up today, I felt so guilty about it, I feel as though I have not actually let overcame it completely.
Hey there! Basically there are different opinions on this specific topic. Your dreams are coming from your subconscious, so you can either evaluate what is making you think of those situations during the day and eliminate them from your life. But this is where that is contradictory because there is so much promiscuity in our everyday life that your subconscious can take in those thoughts/desires and give you sensual dreams that is out of your control. Since we are in today’s society and it is nearly impossible to take away everything that would make someone think impure thoughts, there are some things you can try to help control your dreams. Maybe before you go to sleep, read the Word and clear your mind of any impure thoughts you’ve had during that day. Also talk to God about it, I’m sure you have already, but just pray about it everyday. He will help you overcome it. I’ll be praying for you!! God bless!
Anonymous asked: what would be your advice to a girl with a masturbation problem? I don't feel 'addicted' but every now and them I get tempted and you know... it's like my biggest secret and I dont know what to do. I always feel so impure and horrible afterwards i jUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO
Just remind yourself that you can’t do that. It is a sin, just like any other sin, and to just turn away from it. I know it’s hard to say no to those things, but we aren’t called to have an easy life. It’s going to be difficult and hard, but that’s why God wants us to depend upon Him. That is why He wants us to give Him our troubles and not worry or stress about these things. Trust in God. Pray about it, and when you feel tempted, listen to the Holy Spirit telling you to turn away from it. You’ll hear God, I promise. You can also find some way to remind yourself to stray away from that temptation and desire. Maybe make a bracelet, and every time you look at it, it will remind you. It works :) I’ll be praying for you, but don’t get down on yourself. Talk to God about it, He understands and wants you to run to Him. Stay strong <3 God bless!
junk--of-the-heart asked: For the girls who feel like they cannot be a godly woman because of losing their virginity: God has forgiven you! He has thrown your sin as far as the east is from the west, and forgotten about it. Also, look in the bible! All of the people God used, they all did amazing things for Gods glory, and they had all made mistakes and were all imperfect. Rahab, for example! She was a PROSTITUTE. And God loved her, and did a mighty work in her life. She is even part of the lineage of Christ! Please do
Anonymous asked: Youre right, in order for God to forgive me I must forgive myself. It just haunts me, and I feel ashamed. I feel like I can never truly be whole again. I feel envy for other christian women that still have their treasure and I hate feeling that. It's wrong but I cannot help myself. After reading your message, I truly felt tears come to my eyes. I found your site today and perhaps God lead me here to ask for your advice and perspective to lift me. Thank you for your encouragement, you are amazing
Of course. I want you to feel better about yourself. Don’t envy other Christian women, because everything happens for a purpose. And although you might not ever know what that purpose was, you’ve learned from that mistake. Don’t feel ashamed, because the King of all Kings has forgiven you…and it’s time to just forgive yourself. Dwelling on the past is what will hold you back from furthering His Kingdom. So take what you’ve learned and help other people. We all go through these times that we just need encouragement, that it will all be okay. Just trust in yourself and more importantly trust in God. Smile, beautiful! :)
Anonymous asked: A couple of years ago I gave my virginity away. I have been reconnecting my relationship with God ever since and I have been making him my number one priority with every part of my being. I feel guilty for the things I have done and I have asked god for forgiveness. I know he has forgiven me, bc he has given me that grace as a gift. However, I still feel like I cannot be at true christian woman without my virginity and It kills me. what advice can you give me? are there born again virgins?
Of course there are! You need to forgive yourself! We’re human, and we make mistakes. We’ve all been there. But if you’ve repented and continue to live out your promise, God has forgiven you. I know it’s hard to let something like that go, but you can do it. Just pray about it, I’ll be praying for you. Don’t feel guilty. Live your reborn life, and use your story to help encourage other young women and men. If you’d like to come off anon I would love to talk more about it with you. But just remember that you’ve already been forgiven. Satan is the only thing trying to hold you back, don’t let Him. Let God move through you!! God bless :)
Anonymous asked: Hey<3I was wondering what you think of premarital sex? Me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years, I'm 20 now, he's 22. We weren't Christians before, but we both found Jesus a couple of years ago and we're so in love still, and the best thing now is that we have Jesus in our relationship too. I'm sorry if it's a little weird to say, but we're so passionatly in love & truth be told, we can't "help ourselves". Are we still sinning?When it's out of love?I would be so happy if youd answer<3
Hello :) I’m going to go straight from the Bible
Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body -1 Corinthians 6:18
Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry -Colossians 3:5
God makes it very clear to abstain from any sexual actions until marriage. I know it’s hard, and the temptations are so great, but it will be so worth it in the end! Even if you have already had sex, God will still forgive you. Repent, and ask for His forgiveness. And then abstain from any sexual endeavors until marriage. God will give you the strength to not fall into temptation, you just have to be willing. Pray about it daily. Not only will it help you two grow closer to your relationships with God but it will bring you two closer as well. Stay strong! I’ll be praying for you as well <3